Autopsy of the Ashtray

What the hell was I thinking?

I went on vacation a few months ago. I was only gone for a week, but in that time a rather sinister plot was carried out by our facilities staff. They replaced all of the traditional ashtrays with these phallic wonders.

I played cool with the change, waiting for the day when I could open one of these babies up and see what life on the "inside" might be like.

It isn't pretty.
It's got a dirty butt hole!
Somthing wicked this way comes I started to notice a lot of discoloration a couple of weeks ago along the seam between the upper and lower halves.

My curious nature finally got the best of me and I had to know what was going on inside of "Sigmund's" Ashtray.

I realy do need to learn to curb my curious side.
I took out the locking bold on the back and sowly raised the lid.

So far so good.

There appears to be quite a bit of what could only be tar collecting in the seam area. Though I wasn't about to touch it, it seemed to be rather sticky.
I let the smoke out! With the initial inspection over, and no dangerous results yet, I decided to boldy remove the upper half of the ashtray for a better look inside.

There was a large puff of smoke as oxygen met the smoldering butts, but nothing exploded and I felt confident that this was a safe excercise.

Then the smell hit me. Oh my GOD! AAAGGUUUUHHH!!! This thing could REALY use a mint!
The stench was nearly unbearable!

This thing had been sitting there, collecting butts for a couple of months now. Slowly smoldering away in it's own private cloud of toxic hell.

I took a look at the upper half.

It's nothing but one huge, sticky, stinky flute. Cigarettes have been getting stuck half way down the neck for a while. I can see why now.
This is what your lungs look like
The source of all that is evil Finally, inspected the contents of the ashtray.

This thing is nothing more than a metal bucket in a plastic body... how cheesey!

Amongst the smoldering cigarette and cigar butts, there was a couple of empty packs, a sitck, and a drinking straw from McDonalds (those ought to burn nicely!).

I replaced the lid and made a hasty retreat.
Simple words are not enough to introduce you to the incredible stench that this thing puts off.

After my inspection, I quickly went back inside to wash up. The smell refused to come off of my hands, and lingers on my clothes even as I type this.

I can guarantee that this will be the last chapter of the ashtray series, as my stomach wont take another installment.