My brother-in-law has decided to ignore my years of strife and has elected to marry the woman of his dreams. So, we’re heading out tonight for an adventure of epic proportions. Drinks, fun, and with luck… the nudie bar.

Strip clubs crack me up. If you’ve never been to one before, let me explain how things work….

The sign outside proclaims “50 beautiful women and 3 ugly ones”. Every time I’ve been there it’s been ugly night. You pay the doorman $20 to get in, then you have to buy a drink ($4 each). The drink selections in Spokane are as follows: non-alcoholic beer or coke (they can’t sell alcohol in the strip clubs here). You have to buy a new drink every 20 – 30 minutes or they’ll toss you out (whether you’ve finished the first one or not). There’s a stage with two poles where the girls “dance”. If you’re sitting around the stage, you need to throw money at them (dollar bills… no change) or you’ll be asked to move further back. In the seating away from the stage, the girls walk along and offer “couch dances”. If you go for it, you give her whatever price she asks ($10 – $40) and she bounces on your lap until the current song ends or both your legs are so bruised that you’ll never walk again (some of these girls are a little heavy).

There’s a huge difference between male and female strip shows. When it’s a male review and the crowd is full of women, there’s lots of screaming, laughing, and jumping up and down. The male dancer (they actually dance) doesn’t take off all his clothes. If a woman is “dancing” for an audience of men, everything is very, VERY quiet. The crowd reminds you of a pack of wolves staring at a rabbit.

I’ve never really seen the sense in going. You pay money to stare at a woman you cant touch (and probably don’t want to) so that you can get good and frustrated and then go home alone. It would be much more efficient if you just walked in and pay the door man $50 to place your penis on a block of wood and smack it with a ball peen hammer.

*WHAM*

But that’s just my opinion.

Happy friggin thursday!

It’s Africa hot here today and I have absolutely no desire to be anywhere close to work. But, as I didn’t win the powerball drawing yesterday ($250,000,000.00 prize), I don’t have much of a choice.

I did, however, finish mmeowgrl’s avatar for the BRHF today. Other than a couple of “camel toe” references… I believe it was well received:

        thigh boots are sexxxxy!

In unrelated news: my father-in-law should be hitting town sometime today. He’s taking my children off my hands for a couple weeks and hauling them to his place in Vegas (insert my “happy dance of joy” here).

Link of the day: What to do if you do win the lottery (for those two bastards who won MY money)

Because I feel some guilty need to post something, yet I have nothing to post… I give you interesting crap to click on:

Feeling Lonely? (thanks Eve!)

Smuggle a motherboard on the Millennium Falcon (moth found this one)

Pranks at Cockeyed.com (thanks Sean)

I have a new addiction, and it is called Battlefield 1942.

Why the hell didn’t I know about this one sooner?!?

My son had pulled down the demo version on Tuesday. After watching him play for a few minutes, I was hooked and installed the demo on my machine as well. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the game, let me explain:

Imagine a multiplayer environment with up to 64 people playing on a single map. Now add in vehicles that you can drive (jeeps, tanks, APCs, fighters, bombers, boats, battleships, air craft carriers, submarines, etc.). Now you’ve got action!! There are mods you can download to add additional fun to the mix (Desert Combat is a gulf war style mod and comes complete with Apache Gunships, A-10 Warthogs, M-1 tanks, etc… great fun!!).

I can see that my life will be quite busy for a while.

Meanwhile, on the home front, I went swimming in a pool for the first time in 15 years last weekend. Of course, I have a horrible reaction to chlorine (hence, the 15 year hiatus), so I’m fairly miserable at the moment.

Link of the day: Where does my CD money go? It’s a fact! (well… maybe)

As I own a website, and I can do anything on it I so desire, I decided that I desire to sell things to you, the loyal viewer.

So… get it while it’s hot!!!

2001 Honda Shadow Ace 750 Deluxe
Only has 3,690 miles. Comes with windshield, solo luggage rack, saddle bag guards, all manuals and rear seat. Under extended warranty until April ’05 (warranty is fully transferable). The bike is in near mint condition!

Price: $5,200 firm

If you’re interested, let me know (and no… I won’t deliver it to you, so you should probably live in Spokane or the surrounding area).

Link of the day: Amber4Ever (oh man… this is messed up!)