It’s been busy and forgot to fulfill my promise of full frontal nudity… so here it is (better late than never):

Or perhaps “never” would have been better after all.

Well, my quandary over what to do was resolved today.

My old neurosurgeon’s office called today to get information about me for the study (artificial disk replacement). I informed her that I don’t want to be in the study.

She was taken aback by that. I don’t think anyone ever says “no” to a thing like that.

But with my past history with his office I just don’t feel comfortable under his care. I feel that he has lied to me and put his own advancement above my health. He’s broken promises and given me different diagnoses with nearly every visit.

Hopefully everything will go better with the new neurosurgeon.

In totally unrelated news, tomorrow is my annual review at work. I’m not expecting much… I’ve been on heavy medication for the last 7 months and haven’t exactly been performing my job very well. I have a thinking job, and it’s hard to think with your in either complete agony or so doped up that you can’t function.

Of course, that doesn’t stop them from loading on the assignments. I shouldn’t bitch, at least I have a job, but it seems that the worse I feel, the more projects I’m given.

*sigh*

Well… that’s enough of the pity party for tonight. Tune in tomorrow: Full frontal nudity is a promise!!

I had a meeting with my neurosurgeon yesterday. I left his office completely confused.

Instead of coming off as “cold” and “aloof” (as he has in the past), he shook my hand and pulled me out of the examination room and into his plush office. This man who had said I had 3 bad discs that required either replacement or fusion now says I only have one bad disc. He went from saying a month ago that he didn’t need to see me to saying he would put me on the “fast track” to getting surgery.

What the hell?!?

He also offered to put me in the study for the artificial disk. This is the carrot that has kept me going, but I now wonder if it’s the right thing to do. The surgery is still experimental, and I’m not sure if that’s the path I should take. I would also have to wait till September for the procedure. One more point… an artificial disk isn’t promised. As part of the study, I would have a 66.6% of getting disk replacement and a 33.3% chance of fusion. They also don’t know how long the artificial disk will last. He told me that since this is part of a medical study, the procedure would be done at no cost to me. Um… I have insurance. It would only cost me my $10 co-pay for any billed surgery.

*sigh*

I have another doctor who has taken me under his wing and promised to get me the treatment I need in a timely manner, and I’m thinking that perhaps I should stay with him. He hasn’t lied to me or filled me with false hopes (as apposed to my neurosurgeon) and has also already scheduled me for the appropriate tests to verify what needs to be done. I get the feeling from him that he genuinely cares about me and wants to do whatever it will take to make me whole again (or a reasonable facsimile thereof).

My gut feeling is to go with my new doctor. As much as I’d like to try the artificial disk, my trust level with the old neurosurgeon is gone.

Oh… and one more thing: there’s a possible side effect of either surgery that I’ve never heard of before. It’s both comical and horrifying at the same time.

In approximately 1% of men who receive the treatment, there’s the possibility of a specific kind of nerve damage. Because they go through the abdomin to get to the back , there’s a possibility that they may damage the nerve fibers responsible for ejactulation, causing the valves that control the direction of flow to reverse. So… on the offbeat chance I ever have sex again, I may “injaculate”, that is… fire in reverse, into my bladder.

Freaky!

Tis once again Monday morning, and life from the homestead continues down the same old path.

A summary of my typical Monday morning:

I got my appointment for the discogram today (now doesn’t that look like fun!).

The general gist of the procedure is: they stick a needle in each of the 3 discs in question and make injections into each disc, one at a time (kinda like this…. only with more needles). When a disk with problems becomes injected, it reproduces the pain you’re having (so they can narrow it down to which disk actually needs fixing). Oh… and since they need to see the reaction, I can’t take my pain meds that day. Sound like fun? You betcha!

Since this takes about 4 hours total time (most of that is spent in recovery), it’s gonna be a long day.

And speaking of long days… working from home sucks! By nature, I’m a very social creature. I’ve been isolated for a few weeks now and it’s really starting to get to me. I’m grateful that I don’t have to go into the office (riding in a car viciously tears my back up), but I find myself very, VERY bored. I have plenty of work to do, but I miss the social interaction. Hanging out with the smoky crew in the shed, lunch with Jess, Trev, and Stokes. The whole work scene.

*sigh*

I wanted to post some wacky link or funny image today… but I’m not really into it today. Perhaps tomorrow (and, then again, perhaps not).