wwbd – Get your groove on!

Archive for September, 2002

Taking the day off….

September 30, 2002 By: bio Category: General

I’m taking the day off from work and being lazy today.

I pulled an 11 hour shift on Saturday/Sunday night doing a data validity test for a customer back east which kinda shot my weekend in the butt so my boss took pity on me.

We did the lan party thing again a week ago (yeah… I’m slow). While I didn’t take a lot of pictures, we did have a good time.

Check it out… Bring Out Your Dead, XI

Spare cash plays “Ninja Vanish”

September 26, 2002 By: bio Category: General

We just closed the deal on the refinance of our house last week.

After several attempts at getting it done, we finally found a company that could give us the rate we wanted, and more importantly, get our house appraised so we could qualify for the loan (this is a problem in my area, as there are no comparable homes in the area that have sold in the last year).

We locked the rate at 5.25% on a 15 year mortgage (an absolutely spiffy deal!) and after all was said and done, we got a check in the mail for $1,309 (I had made a couple of payments on the place between the time we started and when we finally closed the deal).

Free money (well… kinda)!

We had a few plans for it… new dining room set, perhaps part of a down on a new car for me, or just paying down on of my credit cards. Instead, my kids took it.

When I got home last night, my youngest attacked me the moment I entered the door. “I need a saxophone TONIGHT!!” he proclaimed.


With everything going on, I had forgotten that I’d signed him up for band when the school year started. We quickly jumped in the car and raced down to the music store. Upon arrival (10 minutes before they lock their doors for the night) we scrambled to the instrument desk and I inquired how much a sax was.

$1,500 to start.

After the paramedics revived me… I asked if they had any used ones on hand of good quality that might allow us to actually things like food for the next few weeks. They did, and my son walked out the door with a lovely alto saxophone for the low-low price of $883.39. He assured me the entire time that he was going to be serious about learning to play it, practicing and participating in band activities.

I’m glad to see my son is sincere in his committment to this, because if he changes his mind, he’s dead.

Burning sensations

September 20, 2002 By: bio Category: General

Being sick sucks.

My youngest son was fortunate enough to contract something nasty at school, and being the wonderful child he is, he brought it home and shared with all of us.

Little bastard.

So the whole family is down with some nasty virus at the moment. The timing of course couldn’t be better, as we are hosting yet another LAN party tomorrow (and will have 50 – 60 people in our house).

All that, of course, sets the stage for my actual post.

As a side effect of whatever bug is ailing us, I got an eye infection. My wife, bless her soul, said we had some eye drops in the medicine cabinet from when she had a similar issue a couple of months ago. She got out the bottle, read the instructions, and prepared to put 5 drops (as per the instructions) into my right eye.


The first drop went in and my eye immediately erupted into searing pain! She called me a baby, told me is was supposed to sting a little bit, and proceeded to pry my eye open for drop number 2.


At that point, my eye proceeded to change from white to blood red. “What the hell isthat stuff?!?” I screamed! She reread the instructions again, aloud this time: “It says right here… place 5 in the ear”.


Thus began the 5 minute ritual of flushing my eye with cold water. She found the actual eye drops while I was attempting to save my sight and we gave those a try. Yeah… it stung too… but it stung like an eye drop, not like having a hot ice pick rammed into your eyeball.

Today, my eye is almost white again, and my wife has been very, VERY nice to me.


September 02, 2002 By: bio Category: General

All postings here are actually questions that I’ve been asked over the years.

Q: When is an inappropriate time to use the word “caulk”?

A: When using a urinal in a public bathroom (eg. saying “I love the smell of caulk” to the man using the urinal next to you). *

*This actually happened where I work, and no… it wasn’t me who said it.

Q: You have an incredible website, how do you come up with those funny ideas?

A: First, I put on a rubber glove that goes up to my elbow. After fully lubricating thus said glove, I insert my hand into my rectum, and pull the ideas directly out of my ass.

Q: I love the domain name. Can I get an email address at whitewomanblackdog.com

A: Can I have a ride on your mom? Oh, wait… I already did. She was terrible, so the answer is: “No”.

Q: What the hell is wrong with you?

A: I don’t have time (or the webspace) to post all the things wrong with me. Lets just say I’m “special” and leave it at that, ok?

Q: I’m new at doing websites, can you do some graphics/html/flash for me?

A: Can you pay me?

Q: What program do you create your website in?

A: Currently I use WordPress. Before that it was Notepad. Learn it, live it, love it.

Q: Is this a porn site?

A: Yes.. it’s a big ass porn site! Oh man, do we have porn! We have gigs and gigs of nasty porn, just keep clicking the links and you’ll find it eventually.

Q: Can I put a link to your website on my geocities page?

A: Sure.

Q: I really like your website and put a link on my geocities page. Can you put a link up to my site?

A: I’m glad you like my site enough to put a link to it. Unfortunately, your website sucks ass, and I want nothing to do with it (this excludes Colin’s page, as it’s brilliant).

Q: This is the worst bestiality site I’ve ever seen!

A: I’m sorry, but you didn’t state your answer in the form of a question. Please accept this box of Rice-a-roni and a copy of the home game as a consolation prize.

Q: Who does all the graphics for you?

A: I do. Photoshop, Illustrator, and flash are your best friends. My best friends are actually people but I like those programs too.

Q: I really like one of the images on your website. Can I use it on my geocities page?

A: I would really prefer that you didn’t. I’ve worked hard on most of the useless crap that you see here, and would prefer it stays here. If you like it that much, put a link to it. Violators will be kicked squarely in the gonads.

Q: You’re just making this shit up, aren’t you?

A: Anything for content, baby.