I had a meeting with my neurosurgeon yesterday. I left his office completely confused.

Instead of coming off as “cold” and “aloof” (as he has in the past), he shook my hand and pulled me out of the examination room and into his plush office. This man who had said I had 3 bad discs that required either replacement or fusion now says I only have one bad disc. He went from saying a month ago that he didn’t need to see me to saying he would put me on the “fast track” to getting surgery.

What the hell?!?

He also offered to put me in the study for the artificial disk. This is the carrot that has kept me going, but I now wonder if it’s the right thing to do. The surgery is still experimental, and I’m not sure if that’s the path I should take. I would also have to wait till September for the procedure. One more point… an artificial disk isn’t promised. As part of the study, I would have a 66.6% of getting disk replacement and a 33.3% chance of fusion. They also don’t know how long the artificial disk will last. He told me that since this is part of a medical study, the procedure would be done at no cost to me. Um… I have insurance. It would only cost me my $10 co-pay for any billed surgery.

*sigh*

I have another doctor who has taken me under his wing and promised to get me the treatment I need in a timely manner, and I’m thinking that perhaps I should stay with him. He hasn’t lied to me or filled me with false hopes (as apposed to my neurosurgeon) and has also already scheduled me for the appropriate tests to verify what needs to be done. I get the feeling from him that he genuinely cares about me and wants to do whatever it will take to make me whole again (or a reasonable facsimile thereof).

My gut feeling is to go with my new doctor. As much as I’d like to try the artificial disk, my trust level with the old neurosurgeon is gone.

Oh… and one more thing: there’s a possible side effect of either surgery that I’ve never heard of before. It’s both comical and horrifying at the same time.

In approximately 1% of men who receive the treatment, there’s the possibility of a specific kind of nerve damage. Because they go through the abdomin to get to the back , there’s a possibility that they may damage the nerve fibers responsible for ejactulation, causing the valves that control the direction of flow to reverse. So… on the offbeat chance I ever have sex again, I may “injaculate”, that is… fire in reverse, into my bladder.

Freaky!