wwbd – Get your groove on!
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OMFG!!! An update!!!

July 20, 2006 By: bio Category: General

Yes, netizens, I, the humble webmaster, am still alive and kicking.

Well… alive, anyway.

Life has been busy, work has been sucking much buttock, and I’ve had a house full of company. But all is good in the land of WWBD now, for I have discovered the secret to never ending happiness…

Lottery tickets!

Yes, I will indeed win the big prize, and then I shall use my new found wealth to dominate the world with an iron fist.

Of course, if that doesn’t work out, I’ll just keep doing what I have been.

Other useless stuff: I found a spiffy new website, Logopond. It’s a place where you can upload a logo that you’ve created and have it reviewed by “peers”. Of course, “peers” is a very subjective word. In reality, it’s reviewed by any smacktard with an internet connection. You can find my portfolio here.

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry

June 29, 2006 By: bio Category: General

I had intended on writing something rather witty and perhaps extremely offensive today.

Instead, I woke up with the back from hell.

I’m feeling surly, but not so much that I feel the driving need to roast religion, politics, the NRA, or even stupid people.

Perhaps tomorrow.

I need to update more often.

June 27, 2006 By: bio Category: Stupid Shit

I’ve decided that I’m going to start a new category on the old website: Stupid Shit.

It will be filled with things that I hate, things that piss me off, etc.

It’s gonna be chock full of stuff (because I’m finding that the whole damn world pisses me off).

I already have the first 6 posts in my head. Yes, they will offend some, no I don’t care. Oh… and a preemptive strike for you. If you find offence at something I say and feel the need to post a comment to flame me… you will be mocked, viciously.

So… buckle up, buttercup, and prepare for the ride.

Why I hate cellphones

June 26, 2006 By: bio Category: General

Cellphones have their place. They’re incredibly handy if your car breaks down, you’re at the store and need to find out if you need to pick up milk, etc. There are however, times when a cell phone should never EVER be used.

For example, I just got off a business call to someone who’s working off-site. He’s in a warehouse setting some equipment up. In the middle of the call he said “I hate this place… there’s nothing in here… they don’t even have toilet paper!”.

Then, I heard a toilet flush.

BEJESUS!! HE CALLED ME…. WHILE TAKING A CRAP!

*shudder*

I feel unclean now. If anyone needs me, I’ll be sitting in the shower, rocking softly and sobbing.

I hate everyone and everything

June 20, 2006 By: bio Category: General

There are times when it’s blindingly clear that the world is populated by mouth-breathers.

Today is one of those days.

I attempted to make a purchase on my lunch break, the Black & Decker Auto Wrench. I need two of them (one for my father-in-law as a late father’s day gift and one for myself, because they’re just sooooo damn cool). Of course… I couldn’t find one.

What I did find, however, is that today was genetic throwback day for all of the drivers on the road. Apparently, red lights and turn signals are purely options to these people, as I was nearly hit twice.

Every parking lot I attempted to enter was in the same state: shopping cart madness! Why is it that people feel it’s ok to leave the cart in the middle of the damn parking lot where it can roll into someone’s car? Can’t you be bothered to walk those few extra feet and put it in the damn shopping cart return (which are conveniently placed all over the damn place)?

Don’t be an inconsiderate bastard. I don’t care of your car is a piece of shit, mine isn’t, and I’d prefer that your damn cart didn’t roll into it.

While I’m on the subject… here’s a few other parking lot etiquette tips:

  • Dump your damn ashtray in the garbage can! That’s just plain nasty!
  • If you need to change your kids crappy diaper, put that in the damn can too! There’s nothing worse than the smell of toddler poo on hot asphalt! (I seriously have a hard time believing this every time I see it!)
  • Park in one space… BETWEEN the lines! If you want a little extra space (to avoid door dings from the other mouth breathers), park at the far end of the lot.

Follow those 3 simple rules (and pretty much anthing else that is common sense) and you’ll discover that team WWBD will direct much less blind rage on your ass.