It’s the holidays once again, and that means it’s time for me to re-publish Scott Christiensen’s classic Christmas tale:

“I Was Santa’s Rubber Clad Love Slave, an Elf’s Story” (opens in a new window)

Enjoy!

I got an email from one of my credit card companies yesterday asking me to check my charges. Apparently they saw something they didn’t like.

So… I did.

SHIT! Someone’s been having fun! I have $560.79 in charges over the past 30 days from a cell phone company that I don’t use.

I’ve called my credit card company immediately. They were really polite and started an investigation on it. I’ve also had them lock that account and they’ll be issuing me a new card.

I’ve been trying to contact the cell phone company in question, but haven’t had any luck as of yet. Apparently, to speak to someone, you need to have a cell phone number with them.

I’ll update when I find out more.

Microsoft is now in the blog business. You too can get your own msblog, complete with shared music, pictures, and other fluffy crap for free (well… if you have a passport).

I created my own just for giggles. It’s in beta right now and not very good. It does, however, feature a handy little “abuse” link in case you might post an opinion that others dont agree with (say something against popular or unpopular opinion, get shut down). What a great option! You can have a blog for free, but free speech… well, let’s not go there!

I’ll stick to what I have, thanks.

In totally unrelated news: Country Music: Why do this to yourself?!?

We went to Zips for lunch and they had the muzac turned to country. The drone if down-trodden men and women came wafting thorugh the slightly greasy and yellowed grills in the ceiling. Of the few songs that I listened to the lyrics of, 3 were about a spouse who had left, 1 was about losing a job, and the other two were about drinking ones self into oblivion.

Why do people listen to this crap? Is your life so bad that you need to listen to someone who’s singing about how they have it worse so you can feel better (or relate). These people DON’T have it worse… they have record contracts, they tour, they make money you’ve only dreamed of! They sing songs with all the whit of a fart and people buy their albums.

I guess the music is popular… in the same way as Nascar, Professional Wresteling, and price rollbacks at Wall*Mart (yes… I do catagorize them all together).

If you want music to slit your wrist by, may I suggest The Eels “Electro-shock Blues“.

My manager wants me to write up all the wonderful things I did during the year for my annual review.

Um… did I do anything?

I’ve been thinking back into the past and scratching my head… most of the year is a complete blank to me. I guess that’s what happens when you’re taking 160mg of morphine sulphate and 60mg of hydrocodone a day (as I had to for a long damn time).

Apparently I did work. I got a paycheck!

One thing I know I did was a LOT of ColdFusion development. I know this because after I finally got off the drugs (that was WHEEEEE, FUN!!!), I needed to maintain some of the code I had written during the peak of my narcotic intake.

The applications I wrote worked… though I honestly couldn’t tell you how. I ended up scrapping and re-writing some of them. The logic in the code was… um… bizzare at best. Hell… I have no idea wtf I was thinking when I wrote them and wasn’t even able to figure out why one of them functioned.

So… I think I’ll put this on my report:

2004 – My year in review:

Accomplishments:

• Implemented “Photoshop This” on the BRHF
• Wrote php to stop spammers on my blog
• Um… stopped taking drugs
• Rode my motorcycle

I think that should get me a 15% pay increase!