More Helpful Driving Hints from WWBD
Gather ’round, little childrens…. it’s time once again for More Helpful Driving Hits from WWBD!
Why do we do this? Because we love you, and you’re obviously too damn stupid to figure it out on your own (trust us… we know… we drive next to your idiot ass every day).
Todays lesson: Speed Limits.
While you may not have noticed them while moving down the road at a breakneck pace, talking on your cell phone, and drinking your morning Latte, there are these little signs on the side of the road that tell you what the maximum speed for thus said road are.
I can not state this enough: these signs post the MAXIMUM SPEED you should be going.
Now… hang up the cell, put your latte in the cup holder, and prepare to be enlightened.
There is this little gauge on your dash… it’s called a speedometer (yes, there will be a test later, so pay attention!). It has numbers on it and a needle that points to those numbers. When driving, you need this needle to point at or just below the number that matches the sign. It shouldn’t be above the number.
Your speed is controlled by the little pedals on the floor under the steering wheel. Pressing the one on the right makes you go faster, pressing the one on the left makes you go slower (unless, of course, you’re driving a vehicle with a manual transmission). Use these magical devices to keep your vehicle at the speed you are supposed to be traveling.
Now… let’s suggest a hypothetical situation….
Imagine, if you will, that you’re driving along, and there’s a car ahead of you. You can’t seem to control the amount of pressure you’re applying to the pedal on the left, and you creep up on the car in front of you (this is most likely me you’ve just approached at a high rate of speed, as I have a tendency to go the speed limit). DO NOT get as close to the bumper of the car in front of you as possible. Instead, back off, leaving some distance between the cars (this space is dependant upon your speed). And no… 3 feet is not distance.
Failure to do so may lead to catastrophic failure of your crumple zones (and get your ass sued into financial ruin).
Not following the speed limit may get you pulled over by the police. If this happens, don’t bitch or whine about it. You were speeding, you know the law, and you know you were breaking it. You got exactly what you deserve and won’t get any sympathy from us or anyone else. Pay your ticket and slow down.
Oh… and before you spout off that “everyone goes fast on this road”… we don’t (so everyone doesn’t do it… quit being such a sheep).
Finally, if you’re reading this while driving your car… we hate you.
Now damn it! I got interested in reading this, spilled my Mocha all over my keyboard and sterring wheel, and missed an important business call on my cell phone. But fear not, becuase after I wiped up the mocha, I managed to get out my crackberry and send a text message about the above to this website. But know that I slowed down to 50MPH in the 40 zone to do this, and all the while managed to dodge all those law biding do gooder speed limit observers. Now I am disappointed though because you said there was a test, did I pass? LMAO
1I hope thats not your slow a** in the fast lane.
Now I only drive with the flow of traffic (60-70) in the left lane because itโs the smoothest lane of the freeway.
Those damn big trucks are putting ruts in the road which causes my car to flow in and out of those things, and it cannot be from the studded snow tires as everyone suggest. My example is anywhere near a truck stop, there are ruts everywhere near those truck stops.
On another note what about the sign that says no trailers in the far right lane that no one with a trailer ever notices.
2No… that’s not me doing 40 in the fast lane ๐
Those people piss me off too!
3Hey, where did you get that picture of the “Women’s Parking Lot?????
4