Ok…. they’re reaching for it now.

Typically, when I get spam, it’s full of clever misspellings of Viagra, Cialis, Hoodia, etc., followed by some nonsensical garble of words.

Now… they’re quoting the Hobbit.

From: Conleth Enciso
Reply-To: Conleth Enciso
To: xxxx@whitewomanblackdog.com
Date: May 22, 2006 9:54 PM
Subject: Re: AMBBhtEN

V A L / U M
X ^ N A X
M E R / D / A
A M B / E N
V / A G R A
P R O Z ^ C
L E V / T R A
C / A L / S
S O M ^

*link removed… dumbasses!*

from the stones no spider has ever liked being called Attercop, and Tomnoddy of course is insulting to anybody. Off Bilbo scuttled to a fresh place, but several of the spiders had run now to different points in the glade where they lived, and were busy spinning webs across all the spaces between the tree-stems. Very soon the hobbit would be caught in a thick fence of them all round him-that at least was the spiders

Now, if we could only harness the energy that Tolkien is creating by rolling in his grave, we’d have a perpetual motion machine capable of generating enough power to light a small city.

Apparently, there’s some concern about the up-coming June 6th (among those who panic when the wind blows from any direction).

Yes, it will be 6/6/06. No, the world will not end.

But hey… don’t listen to me! According to the Rapture Index , today’s rapture rating is 155 (that’s a -1 point drop from yesterday and according to their website, it means “Fasten Your Seatbelts”).

I know… you’re saying to yourself “the date is 6/6/6…. it’s a sign!!”. Well, the world didn’t end on June 6, 1906, or any year ending in 06 for the past couple thousand years either (though, the year 666 AD was a pretty darn close call… NOT!).

You can find the number 666 (or any kind of pattern for that matter) anyplace if you look for it (if you’re clever enough). Count the letters below:

• George (6) Walker (6) Bush Jr (6)
• Ronald (6) Wilson (6) Reagan (6)
• Double (6) Cheese (6) Burger (6) (add fries and a coke for a “Satan Meal”, up size it for only 66 cents more!)

Bible scholars can’t even agree that the “number of the beast” is 666. According to some, the original text was misinterpreted and the number should be 616 (google it).

Of course, common sense might tell you that it’s all a steaming pile of crap, but those who believe in this kind of thing aren’t exactly the common sense types. These are the kinds of people who maxed their credit cards out on 12/31/99 believing that the Y2K bug would render the computers at the credit card companies useless (yes… I actually know 2 people who did this).

About the only major event that you’ll see on June 6 of this year is the opening of the movie: The Omen, a remake on the 1976 classic. Pure marketing genius from Fox .

And speaking of Fox….. F is the sixth letter of the alphabet, O is the 15th letter (1+5=6) and X is the 24th letter (2+4=6).

There’s that damn pattern again!

On a somewhat related note: if you pull up to the drive through at Dairy Queen, and place your order by speaking as demonically as possible “SATAN WANTS A DILLY BAR!!”*, they will sell it to you with no questions asked. Dairy Queen: wholesome small town goodness or in congress with the Devil? You decide.

* courtesy of Mr. Shawn