I had my discogram today.

My appointment was scheduled at 11:30, but being the guy I am, I showed up at 11:00. I figured there would be paperwork and such to fill out and wanted to get there early. I didn’t know that they already figured in the time to get everything done and my actual procedure wasn’t until 1:00.

They made me strip and put on an ever so lovely gown (open in the back) and hooked me up with an IV. Then I got to wait for an hour and a half.

Finally, my time came around and they put me on a gurney and wheeled me through the hospital. I don’t know what it is about riding around on a bed, going through door after door, but it makes me smile like a kid on a carnival ride. Perhaps I’ve seen too many movies and television shows where they wheel the patient around like this. I feel ridiculous. It would be easier just to walk, but they make you take the ride and it strikes me as insanely funny.

When they wheeled me to the pre-staging area, I met the doctor who would be performing the procedure. He explained what they were doing and why they were doing it (I guess some people don’t ask enough questions prior to the procedure and they have to fill them in at the last second).

Then they rolled my gurney into the operating room and transferred me, face down, onto a metal slab with a 1″ thick piece of foam on it to give the illusion of comfort. They injected a few items into my IV and got to work.

The doctor inserted 3 needles into my back along the left hand side of my spine, each needle piercing a disc. One by one, they did an injection of a dye and asked me “how does that feel”.

“A little pressure” I replied on the first disk. “It feels weird”

Then they did the next disk and repeated the question.

“About the same”

Finally, they did what could only be the bad disc in my back.

I’ve been hurting pretty for most of the last two years, but that pain didn’t prepare me for what I was about to experience. When they asked how I was doing on that disc, I honestly couldn’t answer them. It felt like my entire back had been ripped apart and the muscle fibers were exposed to an open flame.

I guess they figured out what I meant.

After they were done, the sent me off for a CAT Scan to look at the results. I had to have someone help me roll off my gurney and onto the machine, then back onto the gurney afterwards.

I spent the next two hours lying very still on the gurney until they decided it was time to go home. By then, things had gotten better… at least I could stand.

Of course, it’s been about 8 hours since they finished now, and my back is totally trashed. Tomorrow is gonna be a glorious day.

They say that which does not kill you only makes you stronger. I’m here to tell ya… you’d be amazed what you can live through.

Welcome to the wonderful land of Monday!

Yesterday was the ABSOLUTE BEST DAMN DAY I’ve had in quite some time.

I fixed the garage door to stop it from crushing any more of my cats (it’s dangerous), successfully disassembled and reassembled the dishwasher (no more annoying noise), and rotated the air in the tires of my baby!

Today isn’t too bad either. The weather is warm (currently 58° F, 14.5&deg C) and sunny.

We started the day with packing all the servers related to Disaster Recovery for our client in Pittsburg up in preparation to the trip out there next week(where we set them back up again).

Tomorrow is my discogram: where they stick needles into 3 of my discs and do injections to check their integrity (if a disc is bad, it hurts like a bitch). Oh boy… I can’t wait! I’ll let you know how that went and will hopefully have a picture or two from the procedure to post.

Oh… and here’s my baby:

My baby is a pretty girl! A pretty, pretty girl!! Sexy!!!

Big things planned for the next few weeks.

I have my discogram on tuesday (the thing where they stick needles into my back and try their best to create as much pain as possible), then doctor’s appointment to discuss the results of thus said discogram on the following monday… and then off to Pittsburg on the 17th for a lovely weeks of system relocation and transition. At least they’re flying me first class both ways (to make it easier on my back).

Oh boy!

I will be bringing the laptop and digital camera… I’m sure there will be plenty of actual content spawned on this trip… hopefully something more interesting than the incessant whining that this site seems to contain as of late.

Other news…. um…. I just trashed the shit out of my laptop while attempting to install a Nortel Networks VPN Client. What a piece of crap that thing is. It totally disabled the wireless nic in my machine and caused an untold number of lock-ups and such. Unfortunately… I need to figure the damn thing out and convince it to play nice on my laptop, as I need it to connect to one of the systems I’m responsible for.

Stupid customers.

I’ve also been solicited several times in the past week by people who want me to re-create their websites (face lifts, new infrastructure, etc). I’ve had to say “um… no” each time. The money would be cool, but I’m just not into it at the moment.

Dont forget to check out the BRHF… it’s teh funneh!

First and foremost, for those of you whom I offended with my previous post… good!

Yesterday, we had a little Disaster Recovery test at work. We bring our servers online and do the processing our client does, then compare the output files to verify that given the same inputs, we come up with the same results.

It ended up being an extra long day.

Some rocket scientist decided to incorrectly label the input files. So… I ended up with 4 wasted hours before I discovered what was up. For you, Mr. “Name the file any damn thing I want”, a special fate awaits you. It involves your manhood and two bricks.

But I digress….

I officially dismissed my neurosurgeon on friday. I gave his nurse a detailed description of why I was going elsewhere for my medical care, and she was professional about it. Not that I really expected any resistance. I still don’t think that they get it.

My physician added another drug to my daily pharmaceutical intake. Prozac. Oh friggin joy! It’s there to keep me happy I guess (long term pain can bring you dangerously low). Perhaps I’ll be more likely to post humorous crap in the future (instead of continuing down the path that I have for the past 2 years).

At this point in my post, I’m supposed to give you some funny link or picture of something, but I’m bone dry on the creative side, so I present to you the following:

Dancing Hitler

It’s been busy and forgot to fulfill my promise of full frontal nudity… so here it is (better late than never):

Or perhaps “never” would have been better after all.