wwbd – Get your groove on!

I hate everyone and everything

June 20, 2006 By: bio Category: General

There are times when it’s blindingly clear that the world is populated by mouth-breathers.

Today is one of those days.

I attempted to make a purchase on my lunch break, the Black & Decker Auto Wrench. I need two of them (one for my father-in-law as a late father’s day gift and one for myself, because they’re just sooooo damn cool). Of course… I couldn’t find one.

What I did find, however, is that today was genetic throwback day for all of the drivers on the road. Apparently, red lights and turn signals are purely options to these people, as I was nearly hit twice.

Every parking lot I attempted to enter was in the same state: shopping cart madness! Why is it that people feel it’s ok to leave the cart in the middle of the damn parking lot where it can roll into someone’s car? Can’t you be bothered to walk those few extra feet and put it in the damn shopping cart return (which are conveniently placed all over the damn place)?

Don’t be an inconsiderate bastard. I don’t care of your car is a piece of shit, mine isn’t, and I’d prefer that your damn cart didn’t roll into it.

While I’m on the subject… here’s a few other parking lot etiquette tips:

  • Dump your damn ashtray in the garbage can! That’s just plain nasty!
  • If you need to change your kids crappy diaper, put that in the damn can too! There’s nothing worse than the smell of toddler poo on hot asphalt! (I seriously have a hard time believing this every time I see it!)
  • Park in one space… BETWEEN the lines! If you want a little extra space (to avoid door dings from the other mouth breathers), park at the far end of the lot.

Follow those 3 simple rules (and pretty much anthing else that is common sense) and you’ll discover that team WWBD will direct much less blind rage on your ass.

0 Comments to “I hate everyone and everything”

  1. BuggZZZ says:

    Wow, was this in Spokane?

    Man! I never saw a dumped diaper down south….

  2. Sadly, dumping dirty diapers in parking lots seems to be a pastime here. There’s nothing more disgusting than a diaper festering in the summer heat.

    Of course, when my kids were little and the emergency diaper change had to happen in the car, I always took it with me for disposal later.

    True story: In December, I changed my sons diaper in the car, then put it on the floor. On the drive home, it rolled under my seat and got snagged on the springs. Since I didn’t see it when I unloaded the car, I forgot about it.

    Around may… it started making it’s presence known, but I was unable to locate what was making my car smell so bad. I filled it with air fresheners, but that didn’t help.

    Around June… I finally found it. It had evolved into a new life form and snarled at me when I attempted to remove it.

  3. PsychoDucky says:

    That’s just like the other day…this dumbass wasn’t paying attention turned right in front of me and I was literally a foot away. I have road rage, but not physical road rage…so he is lucky, cause I was half tempted to step out of the car pull him out and beat him to a bloody pulp.

  4. Since I spent the past weekend in Spokane, I had the opportunity to observe what you are talking about. The Wal Mart parking lot in the valley was quite an education. Seems like those responsible for leaving shopping carts all over the place are all 500 pound women who would scare a gorilla, and most of them were so busy talking on their cell phones that they had no idea of their surroundings. As to drivers in general in Spokane, seems like every mental defective in the state of Washington uses Division as a raceway, and yes, none of them know what the hell a turn signal is or what its for. All in all, your Spokane drivers are just a bit better than those drivers here in Portland. Gawd save us all!